“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how” [Nietzsche]
Although my philosophy on life has been shaped quite strongly in the past few years, the goal of this philosophy was never quite as clear to me. I have built the framework from which I can persue my life goals, but for this to happen, I still needed true life goals. I always knew a direction somewhat, but experience has taught me that vague goals are almost never inspiring enough to be persued.
Therefore, I turned inward to myself, and asked myself what it was that I was actually looking for. Arbitrary layers of personality and inspiration have been lain upon me for the past decade, and blinded by these curtains, I was not able to clearly see myself, only the self that I thought I was. Some of these layers where my own, but some where created by other people, and I wanted to find out which parts came from me.
In order to do this, I turned inward and looked at my original self, my younger self. I looked back to what my original goals where, and how they have shaped where I am now. My younger self always wanted to be an inventor, and he wanted to build amusement parks. I was filled with imagination and curiosity, two traits that have persevered in me until now. Those original goals, however, were mostly forgotten.
From there, I found that most of my persuits in the field of science are only derivative of what it is that I want to actually achieve. I want to invent, and the scientific mind is only a means to that end. I want to create beyond myself, create for myself and others, and become an inventor. It is this practice that I now persue daily, and it is the ultimate goal of the mind.
Besides that, new goals have opened up in the last few years. Besides my intellectual goals, spiritual goals are also important to me. My goals were revealed to me on a friday night. To float, to dream, to be filled with love, to wander, to drift, to glide through the mindsky. It is a feeling that may know no words, but that is tangential to trance or flow. In fully forgetting oneself and all others, everything becomes one, and all sensations are experienced through the entire mind, body and soul. It is this feeling that I now persue daily, and it is the ultimate goal of the soul.