Every battle is won before it is fought - Sun Tzu
In my life, I have noticed that most of my failings are only recognized in hindsight. It is often easier to look back with an analytical mind than to analyze the situation on the fly. This is exactly why I mostly fall victim to my unwillingness to say no when I am put on the spot. From my experience, the best way to shift this bad habit is to analyze the course of action beforehand. Luckily, I already have some systems in place that make it easier for me to act more mindfully, and the implementation of these tricks is exactly what this meditation was centered around.
My first technique I usually call my “ready action,” after the same mechanic in D&D. It basically entails the following: I first meditate on the situations in which my bad habits usually manifest. In this case, it is quite easy. I simply have to look out for decisions I make while excited about something and questions that are asked without any time to process them. Next, I internalize these events and make sure to ready an action for when I notice such things occurring. The action that I ready is also something that I have to meditate on. In this case, I have decided that it would be beneficial if I forced myself to zone out and meditate/think about any proposition for at least five minutes before giving a definitive answer.
The trick lies in the meditation on the event and corresponding action. I can’t completely predict every part of my life, but when I notice bad habits, I can at least try to improve one small part of my behavior by giving myself an if-then instruction during the scenarios where I encounter that behavior. It can be thought of like setting a trap for yourself, so that you first have to break free from it before being able to continue. One trap could be forcing myself to sit a response out for X period of time, while another might be having to do ten push-ups whenever I reach for my phone, for example. Whatever I find works best to keep my behavior in check and, more importantly, keep myself mindful of my behavior at all times.
Then comes my second trick: “the physical reminder.” Knowing myself, I can often forget about the things I set out to do at the beginning of the day. Even though I may have readied an action, that does not mean that I will follow through on it when the moment comes. You can imagine that my resolve and memory of my meditation will be strongest just after having meditated, and that it will weaken throughout the day. In line with the practice of spaced repetition, I have thus developed the technique of “physical reminders” to create a sort of reset of my meditation, from where I will be more likely to follow up on my readied actions.
The mechanism is quite simple, really. I make sure I have some physical way to recall the things I set out to do. This can be as easy as setting a timer every few hours or as complex as hanging up different post-it notes around the house so that I won’t forget. It all depends on whatever I find to work best for me to get back in the moment.
As you may have noticed, all of these methods rely mostly on mindfulness. It could be said that the most important skill for self-improvement is clarity of mind, and because of this, I usually begin my trajectory of improving myself with meditation on this mindfulness.
To recap, I meditate on the following. This is an abstract meditation routine that would fit in with any habit I try to improve, although I am currently using it in my no-saga. That’s all for today.